During our Philosophy class, Dr. Jeane was discussing about the concept of change and forever. Then she related it to the concept of non-married love (boyfriend-girlfriend) and words. A lot of people will relate to this when I say that a good number of lovers resort to seemingly love-affirmative words such as these:

“I love you forever”.

“My love will never change”.

“I will always be there for you”.

“I love you sincerely”.

“I love you with all my heart”.

Isn’t that very flattering to hear in a romantic relationship? At first, you would really be flattered to hear that from your special someone, especially when he or she promptly mentions it at your most sweet and intimate times — like when having sexual intercourse. These words are flattering, blush-inducing and very common. But taking a closer look, is there really a truth to these flattering statements. A lot of people will agree that these statements are with validity, with matching examples and arguments. I really don’t blame them because maybe they have been well-loved by their relationship partner.

Not to sound like a guy who has not been loved by another person aside from my family but I strongly think that these statements are bullshit, just as what Dr. Jeane has suggested. I really think that lovers need no go to saying extremes that essentially can’t happen just to have a justification to themselves that they love the person to whom they are uttering the words to. I really think that is selfish and a cajoling of the self. And really, is there any necessity to selfishly pad up your affirmation of love when it’s visibly obvious that you are literally ready to die for your partner out of love?

Let’s take a case for an example. Just take a closer look at the words “I love you sincerely”. It sounds very good to the ear but subtly it sends a strong message. What is this message? That you didn’t love your special someone enough before you said those words to him or her. If you’re a guy and if only she knew some philosophic background than most people did, you’d be caught dead on spot. That’s is so awkward. Imagine her doubting you if you didn’t love her sincerely prior to you uttering these seemingly sweet words. Does this also mean that you didn’t love your partner with all your heart from the previous time before you said “I love you sincerely”.

This goes also for other adverbs that you will suffix with “I love you.” I mean why would you try to add to it when you’ve already mentioned that you already love the person enough. I don’t really think your lover will be pissed off if you only said “I love you” plainly. Dump him/her if she does!

Let’s go to the case of forever… namely “I (will) love you forever”. What? Okay, that is over-reacting but that really is improbable! First, forever is only a state of mind. Second, there is no forever! Well you might argue that it’s just figure of speech but your figure of speech will cause your partner to expect a lot from you. It’s one case (and a good one, mind you) that you prove to love your partner ‘forever’ by going all the way to marriage but what if the opposite happens? What if one day you realize that you don’t love her anymore? Will you be a bitch and just drop it like that?

This also goes for the case of “My love will never change”. Sure you can say that. But do you really mean it? And can you do it? Does this really mean that when you get into a fight with your loved one, your love for her still won’t change? That’s bullshit. And no, you can’t escape the general concept of change. True as they say, there are some things in this world that are permanent. That will include things like death and change. Sadly, your love for your relationship partner is not included in the list so you’re better off with the simple “I love you”. As what has been said earlier, it isn’t really bad to say “I love you” plainly. Just make sure you mean it.

“I will always be there for you” is a really nice word if you can also do it. But sadly, we just can’t, especially with physical presence. We might think of this adage as a mix of spiritual and physical presence of the lover but you can’t do things and weave magic together if you’re not both physically present. There’s an old saying that it takes two to tango. Obviously, you can’t always make yourself physically available to your relationship partner so there’s really no point in saying this… unless you plan on bringing your lover wherever you go.

Sincerity, people. Think about sincerity.

A lot of media outlets have been getting things wrong, and in turn, it caused a mass-brainwashing of the public. A very good example for this is music. A lot of chart-topping love songs in the music mainstream have been containing this words. I’ve been also guilty of listening to most of these love songs before I was made to realize the some expressions of love are impossible. Most of these songs talk about never-ending love, unchanging love, being always there for the lover - especially in extreme and distressful situations, expressions of forever, sincerity, loving with all heart and other stuff. While they may contain correct content and actually sound good, these contain philosophical blabbers.

Just ask Ne-Yo why he’s already sick of love songs. Maybe he decoded some philosophical background of love songs and realized that such concepts as forever and unchanging are really not possible and are only mere states of mind and figures of speech at best.

There is something that Dr. Jeane talked about which I strongly agree with — commitment of love all over again. You love a person today and enjoy his or her being today and take him for what your lover is. Tomorrow when you still love the person, you go and recommit you love to that person. When you realize that you have lost the zeal and enthusiasm to love her, it will be theoretically easier to tell it straight to the face of your lover that you don’t love her anymore although that does not guarantee that you will not be getting flak or a bitch slap in your face. I think that it’s better that way because you know that you did not make your lover expect so much from you and you did not disappoint her by breaking her expectations.

It doesn’t really hurt to say that “I love you today and if I still love you next week, I will recommit my love to you”. At least you have been honest to yourself. Enjoying now is vital to a romantic relationship of boyfriend-girlfriend. Worrying about later is not much of an issue, well for me. Saying words like ‘forever will quell your worries of later but I don’t think it will not give much prophylactic. Recommitment of love will. If you’re still enjoying then you can always come back tomorrow!

There are other more other extremely impossible (albeit effective) expressions of love that are to be noted. These lines come mostly from media outlets. Through these blaze of figuring out words of love that border figure of speech and extreme infeasibility that might turn out to be down to semantics, I think this leaves us with three lessons:

• A simple I LOVE YOU is ENOUGH. Most people don’t realize this. Don’t try adding and adding to your affirmed ‘love’ through words to a point that it already sounds wrong. You already love the person enough, why are you trying to pad up when there’s really no need?
• For men: Never utter anything that you are not sure of just to be safe. I think the woman will understand that. Never mention something that you can’t reach or you can’t do.
• For women: Take everything that you hear from the man with a grain of salt. Examine your guy’s sweet words first but please don’t doubt his sincerity when in intimate or passionate moments.